


There Were Two Ways This Could Go (I Took The Stupid Path)

by kingdomoflittlewounds



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Based on a Tumblr Post, M/M, Oblivious Bucky, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson is So Done, Unrequited Love, but then he realizes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-08-12 03:43:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7919212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingdomoflittlewounds/pseuds/kingdomoflittlewounds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve doesn’t want to be his stupid boyfriend.</p><p>Based off this post <a href="http://bravobarnes.tumblr.com/post/149524517711">x</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	There Were Two Ways This Could Go (I Took The Stupid Path)

Steve collapsed onto the comfortable couch in the hallway next to Sam, letting out a big sigh and swinging his too heavy backpack off and onto the floor. 

“Long day?” Sam asked, a knowing smile on his lips. 

Steve lolled his head to the side to give Sam the death glare. “Fury is trying to kill us. The final is in two weeks and we have two more essays to write. It’s like he wants us to fail.”

“Sorry man, that sucks,” Sam replied. “I told you to drop that class when you had the chance.”

“Yeah, well, that’s really helpful now Sam, thanks.”

Sam held his hands up. “Hey man, you brought it up.”

Steve didn’t reply. He had been on edge all day. Three back to back classes resulted in being in the classroom for almost six hours straight and speed walking across campus to make them did nothing for his asthma. Which was convenient because he cleverly left his inhaler in his dorm room this morning. 

He hadn’t seen Bucky today either. He wasn't in the dorm when Steve woke up that morning and usually they pass each other while Steve was on the way to Fury’s class and Bucky was trying to make it to Professor Hill’s class. Steve couldn’t help but worry. Bucky had been even more stressed out than Steve was last time he saw him. Being an engineer major, Bucky had labs finals on top of lecture finals while Steve only had portfolios other than his finals. Plus, Steve was able to work on them throughout the semester instead of an accumulative exam for most of his classes.

“You seen Bucky today?” Steve asked, unable to stop himself. 

“Dude, it’s you who is practically dating him. Why don’t you know where he is?”

Steve frowned. “What? Practically dating? What the hell Sam?”

“Really, that’s what you focused on?” Steve glared at him. “Look man, I don’t know? It’s not that big of a deal.”

“What?” Steve said, sitting up straighter. “Yes it is. What are you talking about.” 

“It’s nothing. Just, I don’t know, when I first met you guys, you two seemed really close and you’re always, I don’t know, touching each other. Like, even Natasha thought so when she first saw you two together.”

“Natasha?” Steve screeched. “What the fuck? No. No. No. No, Bucky and I are not together have never been together. God. No.”

Sam’s eyebrow rose, “Ok.”

“You don't sound convinced.”

“Man, I'm don’t--” 

“No, no, listen,” Steve heaved, getting worked up. “I don't want that. At all. And Bucky, boyfriend? I don't want to be Bucky’s boyfriend.”

Sam looked a little alarmed. “Well, what do you want then?”

Steve waved his hands around vaguely. “I don’t know. I just want to be with him. All the time. I want to hear about his day and tell him about mine. I want to hold his hand and smell his hair.” Steve sighed, ending his declaration. “But I don’t want to be his stupid boyfriend.”

Sam looked up at the ceiling, asking for the will and perseverance to talk to his thick friend. “Steve,” he paused, trying to collect his thoughts. “Do you even hear yourself?”

Steve looked down at his hands. Yeah, it all seemed normal, right? That's what friends do. That's how it's always been with Bucky. Why wouldn't it be? Bucky was, well, he was Bucky. The most important person in Steve’s life. 

He couldn't remember a time without James Buchanan Barnes. When he was getting beat up behind the school, trying to pass math, discouraged about himself or his art. Bucky was always there. 

When he was sick, Bucky was always nearby to make him feel better. Bringing his homework and helping him catch up when he missed school. 

Distracting him when Peggy left last year. 

Giving him massages when his scoliosis started to act up. 

Sharing a bed with him and helping him when his mom died. 

And when Bucky wasn't there, Steve missed him. A lot. 

Steve just really lov-

“Fuck.”

Sam nodded. “There we are.”

“Fuck. Fuck, Sam. Fuck. What am I supposed to do. Oh Jesus fuck.”

“Alright Steve, I'm sure this is very hard for you, but let ‘fuck’ have a break.”

“Sam, what am I supposed to do? Bucky’s my best friend. I can't ruin that,” Steve moaned. 

“Ruin what?” Bucky’s voice came out of nowhere as Steve felt the chair shift beneath him. Automatically he scooted over to make more room for Bucky as the bigger man wrapped his arm around Steve and started to massage his thumb against the bony shoulder. 

Steve sent Sam one last pleading look - receiving no help in return thank you very much - before turning to the brunette. “Nothing, just talking about… finals?”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “You don't sound too sure of that Stevie.”

Sam gave Steve a look. 

“Sorry, I'm just stressed,” Steve covered, silently begging Bucky to accept the excuse. 

“Ok,” he said, frowning. “Are you sure you're feeling fine? If you don't feel good we can go back to the dorm and I can make you some soup and we could watch some tv?”

Steve’s chest tightened, overwhelmed by the new found emotions. No,” he said, yanking himself out of Bucky’s arms. Pulling up his too heavy backpack. “I'm ok, I’m fine, I'm just going to--” 

Steve pointed his thumb over his shoulder and ran. 

 

“Ok man,” Sam broke the silence. “Don’t get me wrong, I love hanging out with you man, but you’re no fun when you’re angsting and pouting.” Steve tried to interrupt but Sam held up his hand. “You’ve been sleeping in my dorm for the past three days without going to your own. I only have so many clothes to wear and you wearing them also means I’m going to have to do laundry soon and I hate laundry. I know that you just realized that you’re in love with Bucky, but he’s your friend, stop treating him like shit.”

Steve burrowed further under the blankets. Trying to avoid the shame that seemed to shroud him. So maybe he had been avoiding Bucky. Steve didn’t want to go back to the dorm in case he was there and then Bucky would try to get Steve to explain and Steve had never been a good liar. Especially when it included lying to Bucky, who seemed to have a sixth sense for when Steve was bullshitting him. 

And so maybe he had camped out at Sam’s room. Maybe he borrowed Sam’s wardrobe as he found different paths to take to classes to avoid Bucky. 

Steve was a piece of shit. 

But Steve would rather be a piece of shit burrowed under many covers than confront Bucky about being a piece of shit. So, under the covers he stayed. 

Still stewing in self hate, Steve didn’t notice that Sam was about to push him off the bed until he landed on the floor, still wrapped in the blankets but now with his face against the dorm floor. Gross. 

“What the fuck Sam?”

“Come on, Steve. Get your act together.”

“Yeah, well fuck you too Sam.”

Sam just looked at him. “Is that any way to treat your friend who was so gracious he let you hang in his dorm and wear his clothes for three days?”

Steve pushed himself up into a sitting position and didn’t answer. He didn't want to give Sam the satisfaction even if he agreed. 

“When are you going to talk to Bucky again?” Sam asked, trying not to set off the lump of covers. 

Steve ran his hands through his hair and puffed his cheeks to blow out air. “I don’t know. Whenever I see him next maybe?”

Sam whipped out his phone. “Perfect, I’ll tell him to head over here then.”

Steve jerked, trying to stand up, but being wrapped up in blankets he tripped and fell again, trying to move towards where Sam was standing near the door. “No, Sam, please, no, don’t, I’m not ready yet.”

He slid his phone back into his pants. “Do you really think you’ll ever be ready?”

Steve didn’t answer that and moaned into his hands. “I don’t have time to make a break for it do I?”

“He’s on his way over. You’ve got probably under three minutes,” Sam remarked, opening his dorm door wider as an invitation. “What are you going to tell him?”

“Nothing!” Steve exclaimed. “I’m not going to tell him anything. I can’t ruin what we have.”

“Bucky deserves more than that, Steve.”

Steve gripped his hair. “I know that! I do. Bucky deserves a really good friend. But I can’t give him that when I want to be something closer. I need Bucky in my life. And if that means that we stay friends instead of something more, I can handle that. I might be miserable, but I’ll compromise, even in ways that make me not feel so great.”

“What if Bucky wants more?” Sam asked.

Steve shook his head. “No, Bucky definitely does not think of me like that. And while I’d love for us to become boyfriends, I’m not going to put Bucky in a position where he has to choose or do something he’d be uncomfortable doing.”

“Why would you think I’d be uncomfortable?” 

Steve’s head jerked up as he heard Bucky’s voice. Standing the doorway was the man himself, confusion and hope written over his face. Steve was speechless. 

“Do you really think that I’d be uncomfortable knowing that you’d want to be my boyfriend?” Bucky asked, moved towards where Steve was lumped on the floor. “Do you really think that if I had a chance, I would turn down Steve Rogers?”

“You? You--” Steve tried.

Bucky smiled. “Of course, punk. God, you must be thicker than I thought if you hadn’t caught on already.”

Bucky sat down next to Steve and looked him straight in the eyes. Steve didn’t dare breathe or speak in case it broke the spell. His heart was pounded and his chest was tight. 

“Come on, Stevie. You have to know,” Bucky whispered, eyes shining with love, hope, and joy. He leaned in forward and Steve followed. 

Steve closed his eyes and it was Bucky. It was always Bucky. The soft lips against his, the strong arms around him. The hair between his fingers. Steve wanted it to last forever. 

“As much as I love that you guys sorted yourselves out. Really, I’m very happy for you. But can you do this somewhere other than my dorm room?”

Bucky pulled away from Steve and grinned. 

Yeah, Steve could do this anywhere.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please comment or leave kudos if you liked it. This is un-beta'd, all mistakes are mine.


End file.
